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This article was originally published on Return Of Kings:

It’s been said that as many as one out of ten children weren’t fathered by the man they believe to be their dad. There are studies out there to counter this statistic (1 out of 25 is still too many) so nobody really knows for certain what the real number is. But the trend is disturbing nonetheless.

With or without paternity fraud we in the ‘sphere are well aware that cheating is rampant among today’s wives and unfortunately many of us have fallen victim to this epidemic—myself included. With glorified mainstream sites like Ashley Madison as well as countless forums women frequent to assuage their cheating ways leading the way in commercialized infidelity, it’s become clear that the number of unfaithful wives grows daily and they aren’t feeling the least bit guilty about their indiscretions.

Too many men have been down this road

What this means for you pussy pirates out there is that today’s western wives are some of the easiest targets out there. Years of devouring salty loads from dozens of donors who couldn’t give less of a shit about her has made it impossible for her to sexually pair bond with her husband. She may be attracted to him for his ability to provide and care for her children (Beta Bucks) but her loins will always yearn for the men who aroused her in her party years (Alpha Fucks).

This is where you come in.

Now before you manginas start crying about being a home wrecker, violating the “sanctity of marriage,” or preaching morality from on high, save it. Marriage is a joke and we all know it. When a woman decides to cheat, she is going to cheat whether it’s with you or someone else. So grab your balls, get off your white horse, and quit being a pussy.

Somebody will fuck these broads…guaran-damn-teed. It may as well be you.

Don’t act like you wouldn’t smash this

That said, there are landmines-a-plenty if you commingle with matrimonial madres. Having slayed a handful myself there are strict rules I have always followed when engaging in the cardinal sin. I learned these rules through friends and acquaintances who had to learn many of these lessons the hard way.

I am very fortunate not to have been bitten in the ass by one of these trysts. Though I’ve had close calls on more than one occasion because of a few minor slip ups, I haven’t suffered any major consequences. I was happy to soak up the knowledge without having sustained any of the collateral damage that came with acquiring that wisdom.

Banging slutty wives is easy. It’s the getting out clean part that trips most men up. No endeavor with a woman, married or single, is risk free. But the edicts below, when followed to a tee, will drastically minimize, if not completely eliminate your exposure to the potential perils of paramourdom.

8. Never meet her in town

This is non-negotiable. Meeting your vow violator anywhere close to where either of you lives, no matter how large the city, is a huge mistake. You run the risk of running into someone either of you knows and if that happens, it’s a mathematical inevitability that it will get back to her husband and things only get worse from there.

Always meet up with her a town or two (or three) over and neverride to your destination hotel together. Show up in separate cars and make sure she understands that this is an ironclad rule in your arrangement and that any deviation will result in the end of your affair.

7. No dates

Going out for dinners, movies, or anything that resembles a date is off limits. You don’t want her getting the idea that you might care about her. This arrangement isn’t about romance or feelings. It’s about sex. Nothing more.

Any time she suggests going out, tell her you two are ordering out and renting a movie. Not only does this keep her in check with regards to the status of your arrangement, it minimizes any risk of being seen in public together. If she objects, cancel the meet up.

I’ve had to do this with nearly every wife I’ve banged. Half the time they fall in and half the time they stop calling. That’s the way it goes.

This is a no-no

6. Never fuck the married co-worker

The pitfalls here are obvious but the main one is that she could end your employment rather easily by filing a sexual harassment claim against you if things go sour. And even if she didn’t, you would both know she’s got that ace up her sleeve that can be played at her discretion.

Office romances rarely stay under wraps, if ever. Messing with married chicks is playing with fire as it is. Fucking your married co-workers is just begging for a world of hurt. Any man who swims in these treacherous waters deserves what he gets. The warnings have been drilled into our skulls since we were young in the form of the old adage “never mix business with pleasure.”

Abide by this rule and you’ll steer clear of this life-altering booby trap.

5. Use a fake name

This isn’t always possible but it’s a good practice to get into if you spot a ring on the finger of your target. Using a fake name makes it very difficult for her to stalk you (e.g. on Facebook, where she can get familiar with the names and faces of your friends and family), dig into your personal life, or anything else she might do when she starts catching feelings and begins entertaining thoughts of a long term relationship with you.

The less she knows about your identity the more easily you can disappear when the time comes.

Pro Tip: A throwaway prepaid phone comes in handy here. You can get the service put in whatever name you choose which further throws her off the scent and reduces her accessibility to you…so long as this is the only number she has to reach you.

4. NEVER tell her where you live or work

A friend of mine broke this particular rule and saying that it cost him dearly is a gross understatement. Aside from having to find a new job and new residence, damage was done to his and some of his co-workers’ vehicles. His jilted lover also used spray paint to let everyone know who was responsible for her rampage which dug him into an even deeper financial abyss.

Revealing where you hang your hat or swipe your time card is an egregious mistake of epic proportions. Keep this information under lock and key at all costs.

3. Always use protection

One would think I shouldn’t have to put this on the list, but believe it or not there are a lot of idiots out there raw dogging married moms (hence, the paternity fraud epidemic).

Things can get pretty messy if she decides to carry the pregnancy to term. Paternity testing drama, child support hearings, awkward visitation, complications with custody arrangements, the list goes on and on. Not to mention your kid possibly being raised by her slutty ass and her beta husband.

Nobody wins in that scenario especially the kid.

It’s bad news to knock up a a random girl but impregnating another man’s wife will complicate your life like nothing else. So unless you’re shooting blankswrap the fuck up…

…and you’ll be as carefree as this guy

 2. Do not get attached

Now before Captain Obvious(es) hit me with “well of coursenot!”, this isn’t as easy as you may think. The sex you will have with married women is some of the best you’ll ever experience. Dick-deprived spouses are experimental, insatiable, and every kind of debaucherous adjective in between. She’ll dress as slutty as you tell her to and will channel her inner porn star that has been begging to surface since she tied the knot.

Believe me when I tell you that it is very easy to get caught up in a woman who willingly satisfies your every sexual need every time you meet. Your brain grows more addicted to the dopamine rushes she faithfully delivers with every encounter, and before you know it you’re entertaining crazy thoughts about running away together or whatever other ridiculous scenarios your mind stupidly thinks up in the midst of a sex-fueled psychosis.

The best way to avoid this is to limit your time with her. It won’t be easy to cut back on her ball-draining techniques, but the less time you spend around her, the less likely you are to get attached.

1. Know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em

Being ready to walk away at any time is standard game application, but it’s magnified tenfold with married women. If you get the feeling things may unravel get the hell out of there. Females are unstable by nature so be prepared for her implosion at any moment.

Don’t freak out if she starts calling you more or demanding more time. That’s perfectly normal and always happens in the beginning. You’re dicking her good and she wants more—that’s part of the gig. Handle it.

But when she starts talking about leaving her husband or getting careless with the covertness of your affair, hit that eject button immediately and disappear. When she starts exhibiting this behavior it’s only a matter of time before she self destructs and if you’re anywhere near her blast radius she’ll take you down with her.

Bonus: She had better be attractive

There is way too much risk involved in these affairs to be fucking around with a fatty, an ugly, or both. Make sure this high risk has a high reward.

Not even close to worth it


Gaming married women is easy and difficult at the same time. On one hand they need alpha dick in their holes because they aren’t getting it at home. If your game is tight she will respond. She can’t help it.

But they don’t want you or anyone else to see them for the cheating sluts they really are, so they can make it very difficult to interact with them depending on venue, mood, and situation.

Often times they unconsciously run push-pull game on you (this happens all the time so be ready, fellas) because they want you to pursue but they want to keep up appearances. A tricky proposition indeed.

But once you build attraction, trust, and most importantly create plausible deniability for her to fall back on, her anus is yours for the taking. And when you take it she will take you on a magic carpet ride you won’t soon forget.

Bridal bitches will show you a whole new world

All the same, a lot of men aren’t willing to take assume the risks involved with matrimonial meddling which is understandable. If a man falls into any one of the pitfalls of these affairs his life can go sideways in a hurry. I can’t blame the man who wants to avoid these piranha-infested waters. This isn’t for everyone and that’s okay.

If you do decide to take the plunge, follow each and every one of these rules to the letter. Nothing is completely bulletproof but assessing and minimizing your risk with these techniques is very important. If you get the feeling that it’s not worth it, walk away and regroup to fight another day. There’s too much pussy out there to get in too deep for just one piece of ass.

I’m living proof that you can get in and out of these escapades unscathed, but it takes unflappable discipline not to deviate from your plan. Stick with the program and you should be fine.

I said it once and I’ll say it again: Spare me the morality narrative. We all sit here and talk about how slutty women are and share stories about cheating wives and tales of their cockoldry. The fact of the matter is that you’re not going to change anything by not banging that wife who’s shooting off IOIs in your direction.

It’s saddening that western marriages and relationships have been in the toilet for so long that infidelity is not longer shocking. But doesn’t do any good to sit around crying about it either. So ignore that ring, get her number, and enjoy the decline.